I really want cute long nails that are sharp and fancy but I want to be able to finger myself this is problematic
Fun Fact: The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime.I like how this is called a ‘fun’ fact.
It’s fun because they didn’t decide to murder you.
What to say during sex
- ooh ahh ahh
- walla walla bing bang
Would you care for some refreshments?
oh that’s cool they made the bottles look melted into the gr-
I’d really love a goddamn explanation
Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
Soda just spewed out my nose
THAT WAS A PLOT TWISTawwwwwww
gamzee and karkat go for a walk
gamzee gets distracted by everything
karkat considers replacing gamzee with a goldfish
i want a prequel to veggie tales where the humans who occupy that kitchen are flipping the fuck out as their fruits and vegetables slowly become self-aware and begin to sing about jesus
My sister was just like “pretty little liars? Why not ugly tall honest people?” And like two minutes later she shouted Abraham Lincoln